The hot news today that has everybody who is anybody talking comes from IntellactiComp, and it is a doozy! They have announced a recall of their Infinitum 120x10 to the power of 120 sub-mini-microprocessor chip. You know the one. It was going to put an improbability engine in every living room.

Company sources report that a small design flaw in the low-level improbability matrix has resulted in a tendency for the chip to produce slight inaccuracies in its unfiltered-perception probability calculations. For the rest of us, that means it has some bugs.

Since only one device capable of unfiltered perception has ever been built and since it ceased to exist due to a probability anomaly, which sources are quick to add was totally unrelated to any possible miscalculations, this recall is expected to effect no one.

Let’s go live to the IntellactiComp shareholder’s meeting where the lead engineer on the project is due to be executed at any moment.